Be the Confident One

You better believe it...

My guy friend and I were having a great conversation. I was asking him what kinds of girls are attractive to him. He told me that he wants a girl that looks pretty wearing sweats, without makeup. 

Wait... what?! Are you telling me all that work women put into making themselves look beautiful is wasted? And, how can a girl look pretty in sweats?

Ladies... it's about your self-confidence. You have to believe you are a beautiful woman, regardless of what you are wearing, or if you took extra time to curl your hair. This is not about vanity. A woman who knows she is beautiful, especially one who knows God made her that way, is attractive. A guy wants a woman who knows her worth, and does not look to him to give her value. You have so much more value than your appearance alone, so don't be so caught up in how you look. Be real. You will exude confidence, and believe me, people will notice.

Don't forget

A great man will encourage you, and in turn you may feel more beautiful. Just don't forget that God created you with an amazing unique beauty all your own, and only He can appreciate it to its full extent. Don't give God the back burner when your relationship starts getting exciting... because He is going to be with you through thick and thin.

Courtesy of pinterest.com

Potato, Potatoe

Communicating.

It's one word that packs a lot of meaning. Effective communication is critical in all friendships... and it can also make or break a dating relationship.

Did she just say what I think she said?

We all tend to assume we understand what people are saying to us. Unfortunately, there are many ways in which we can miscommunicate. Expression, tone, and words are not always clear. How do we solve this dilemma? If you are unsure of what the other person means, just ask for clarification. It is much easier to ask sooner rather than later. If they aren't willing to explain... that's a red flag.

Words that build

Guys, it is so important to let the girl you are dating know that you care about her. Encourage her in her hobbies and talents. Compliment her. Don't let the sun go down without letting her know you think she's something special. If she is worth your time, she will build you up and support your dreams too.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

Let's Get Real...

I'm going to be honest... this post was inspired by a blog I read on www.artofmanliness.com. It was too good to let it go unnoticed.

Dating vs. Hanging Out

Here's a topic that is hot right now: dating vs. hanging out. They are very different! We settle for just hanging out with groups of people; watching movies, going to a restaurant, or playing video games. This creates a relaxed atmosphere, where there is never an expectation of going beyond friendship.
Hear me...it's not a replacement for dating!

Dating is when you pair off with someone in a temporary commitment, with the hope of getting to know them better, and maybe start a long-term relationship. Women love going on dates. It makes us feel special, and hopefully the attention she gives you will be worth the effort you put in.

Once you know you like her...

After you have decided you are attracted to this woman, it's still fine to hang out in groups so that you can get to know her better. Please don't let it stop there. Once you see she is attracted to you, ask her on a date.

Dates don't have to be expensive. Renting a DVD and eating popcorn while you watch it together is nice. Taking her out to coffee is great too! Be creative... don't let laziness keep you from having fun with a great person. Find out each other's hobbies, and do them together. Cooking, video games, and ping pong are better with the person you enjoy being with.

Giving credit where it's due!
Check out my inspiration for writing today: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/01/16/stop-hanging-out-with-women-and-start-dating-them/

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars."
Les Brown

Life to the Fullest

Get Out There

How do you know you won't like something unless you try it? I know fear of failure used to hold me back. Over the past year God has helped me realize that He has created many things for us to enjoy, and He gives us our own personalities for a reason. Everyone is unique, so it takes time to get to know them... but it's worth it! The most important thing in life, besides God, are people. So why not get out and meet them?

Meeting New People

There are so many places to meet people. There are cool websites that connect people with common interests, like hiking or biking, or you can meet people online. Personally, I like to go out and meet people in person. I recently started country dancing! I never knew I could have so much fun. I'm getting to know some great people, and am glad that I summoned the courage to go to the free dance lessons... am I a great dancer? Not yet, but I hope to be! Who knows? Try something new and exciting, and you might just meet someone who shares the same passion.

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

Still afraid to try something new and different? Learn to be light-hearted. I've learned to laugh at myself when I make a silly mistake. I enjoy it when people laugh with me! It's also good to not take things too personally, because life is too short to worry about it.

Life is a Journey

New Relationships

There is always uncertainty in a new relationship. Most new experiences have an element of risk or anxiety... whether it is your first day at a new job, going away to college, or starting a new relationship. Looking back, the most exciting and worthwhile experiences in my life happened when I took a risk.

Leap of Faith

In my opinion, things that are worthwhile require taking a leap of faith. You cannot possibly know all the possible outcomes. If you did, you would actually become bored. Life is an unpredictable journey, and building new relationships with friends and people you are attracted to is an important part of it.

Learning from it...

Even if the relationship does not last, there is much to be learned from it. You learn about someone else's perspective. This opens up your eyes to things you never would have noticed before... such as taking a moment to smell the roses, or that they see taking a wrong turn as an adventure. Maybe your significant other has different hobbies than you, such as cooking or working out. You can do these things together, and learn why they enjoy doing these activities.

I hope you learn from the relationships in your life. The lasting one's take time and effort to flourish. I have seen the marriage of my parents and that of mentors in my life that have flourished, and they continue to love each other. They have faced trials and joys together, and Christ is the center of their relationship.

Learning from Life

Encouragement for Relationships

There is so much to be learned from every relationship you are in, whether it be with family, friends, or more than friends. The question is, what will you learn? How will this change the way you act in the future?

See it through their eyes...

One thing that is very important is to be on the same page. It is good to be honest with each other,  concerning actions, conversations that bothered you, or just things you want each other to know. This way you can learn about the other person's perspective.

Forgive

I'm also a believer in second chances. People make mistakes, they say things they don't really mean... or find out too late that their words came across in a hurtful way. Give each other a chance to make things right. You can't change the past, but you can change what you do in the future.

Understanding different perspectives and giving people second chances will help friendships grow and blossom. The best things in life take time and effort to flourish.

Do you have a raisin? How about a date?

She caught your eye...

Now what? You can't just go up and talk to her. Or can you? There are numerous cheesy pick-up lines to choose from, such as, "I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you", or "God was showing off when he made you". 

I would like to suggest better ideas...

Idea 1: Make eye contact, and smile! It is the simplest way to get her to notice you, and there is little risk. And, you already know how. The worst that could happen is that she does not notice, or does not smile back. That saves you a lot of time. Don't waste time on girls that are taken, or not interested. If and when she does smile back, go up and talk to her. Believe me, she wants you too. Say hello, and introduce yourself. Break the ice by asking about how her day is going.

Idea 2: You can also add a wink to the smile. According to ehow.com, winking is like throwing a baited hook into water. You are a safe distance away that if she doesn't bite (respond), then you get out with no damage. If she does respond positively (smiling, giggling), go talk to her.

Idea 3: After you have made pleasant conversation, ask for her contact info (i.e. facebook or number). Ask if you can see her again at another public place, such as a coffee shop or an activity like bowling or a sporting event. Don't be afraid to call her the next day! Follow up to show her you are still interested.

Good luck! Let me know how things go.
                                        

(Inspiration for this post came from dan.hersam.com (pick-up lines), http://www.ehow.com/how_2252789_get-girls-attention.html, and real life experiences)

Impress the Bestie

Don't blow off her best friends...

I have become an astute observer of budding relationships. Men are becoming interested in my wonderful  friends. I watch what they do to get their attention, how they interact, and what happens to their eyes when they talk or tease each other. What are some things that you as a man need to do right the first time?

Meeting her friends

The two of you are getting to know each other, and decide that it would be fun to get together with friends for a movie, or game night. You may feel some pressure, or nervousness. That is good, because her friends will be grilling you, seeing if you are worthy.

The best friend may seem like she is just talking to you, or giving you a hard time. Actually, she is mentally taking notes of how you act or speak. She'll find out whether you are sarcastic, immature, or annoying. Or you can be prepared to be respectful, sweet, and mature. 

Impressions matter

Be yourself on your best behavior. This is a good way to get on her best friend's good side. First impressions matter. In the long run, her best friend could be the one to influence her to give you a chance, or help her change her mind about you.

Happy Valentine's Day!

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Encouragement as a Verb

Hello again! I've decided that it would be best if I was consistent, with shorter posts. So, here goes!

Encouragement

Encouragement goes a long way. According to dictionary.com, encouragement as a verb means "to inspire (someone) with the courage or confidence (to do something)". It doesn't take a lot of work to say something kind. Tell her she's doing a good job, let her know you are supporting her dreams and choices. If you aren't supportive, she won't be able to trust you.

 "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."By Leo Buscaglia from brainyquote.com  

Lastly, Smile. I know a kind, reassuring smile brightens my day, and it will brighten hers too.

I am always surprised and impressed when a guy friend takes the time to show me he cares, with a kind word or smile. Keep it up! Your kindness is appreciated.