Its Gotta be Love!

You'd be perfect for each other.

That's what you've thought for awhile now. If only that other person could see your potential and what a fun person you are, then they would surely fall for you.

But that's not always the case.

Because usually, it's not up to you. You can strive to make the other person see you, but that won't make them appreciate you. You could waste so much time trying to get their attention, when they were never meant to be yours.

There are a million reasons why they may not be the one. A very common one is that they aren't ready... for a serious relationship, to see you that way, or to think of a future with you. Some of them need more years to mature, others aren't even looking for the same outcome as you.

Talking to the person may help start the ball rolling... or it could be the reality check you need to let them go.

Either way, things will happen. Be aware, your heart may hurt for awhile. Letting go of someone you've been fond of is never easy.  I don't like to sit around and wait, but I see that God can do great things when I wait for Him.

Like bringing a loving Christian man into my life, that sees life with me as a great adventure! Not a life to be feared or avoided. To be right in the middle of the action, cheering, learning, and going the extra mile. To truly live. And God will bring the right one into your life too, if you are open to His leading.

Letting go is never easy, but it opens the door to let the right one in.

Let's Be Independent Together!

Learning from the pros: Hermey and Rudolph

You're independent, they tell you. Independence seems to make singleness an attractive status, does it not? You can do whatever you want, whenever. What about the times you really want to be doing your "independent" thing with someone else? When you are hoping to share the adventure? More than that, you want to share laughter, ideas, and time.

Freedom or a Cage?

Does independence free you, or cage you? Do you make decisions to go out, do more and learn new things, regardless of who (if anyone) is by your side? Or do you wait around by yourself, hoping someone will remember you? When you seclude yourself, you open the door to letting your thoughts and the lies you’ve heard become more and more real. You start to convince yourself that this is how it will always be, and that you don’t deserve someone.

That’s not true. We were created to be in relationship with God, first of all. It’s important to remember that God made Adam... and then He made Eve. It wasn't good for man to be alone, so God sent Eve to fill that need.

Filling the Void

We cannot fill each other’s emptiness. The ache for companionship and love is only truly filled by God. Once your heart belongs to God, you are in the right place. God knows the desires of your heart… and if you are willing to ask Him to make His desires your desires, you are going to have a full, wonderful life! If He placed the desire in your heart to be married, He will fulfill that desire. He knows your spouse, and you, better than you know yourself. He knows what you need to be learning while you are still single, so that you will be ready to be the best you for the love of your life. I have to remind myself not to get so caught up with my plans and my timing… because God holds time in His hands, and has the bigger picture.

I’m going to live this day fully, by being my spunky independent self. Being alone isn’t the worst thing ever. But… if you want to join in on the adventures, and add your own spin to it, I’d be happy to let you J.

This post was also published on my other blog: http://afuturehope.wordpress.com 

Walking Down the Aisle...

The way he looked at her brought tears to my eyes. 

When Jimmy married one of my best friends, Christy, it was a beautiful moment.

The love between them was so obvious. Their mutual respect for each other, their devotion to God, their Christ-centered relationship, and their passion for life was inspiring. Here was a couple that God brought together.

Who do you watch?

Most people watch the bride coming down the aisle at the wedding. But I like to watch the groom. Every groom has a priceless reaction when he first sees his bride walking down the aisle. Adoration, devotion, excitement, and wonder flash in his eyes.

And sometimes, tears are found there too. To me, those tears reveal that the groom knows how blessed he is to become the husband of this wonderful woman in white walking towards him. And the tears in her eyes says she finds it hard to believe that she found this amazing man that wants to spend the rest of his life with her. She wants to spend the rest of her life showing him how much she loves and respects him.

Big decision

Next to choosing to follow Christ, choosing your life partner is the biggest decision you will make. In our disposable society, I think we often make light of the marriage covenant. As Christians, we are looking for the one person we want to spend the rest of our life with. The bond of marriage is lifelong, and very serious.

The marriage vows are a promise to never give up on "us". The difficulties will come, the differences in opinion will surface, and arguments will happen. But the choice to love is one that we have to make. No one will be lovable 100% of the time. With marriage, you are saying that you will love them even when they say something ugly, when they let you down, and when their health fails.

I've been able to witness first hand my parents continued marriage of 30 years! I know this is not the norm, and I am so grateful God has brought them through all the storms. And, I've seen a lot of the joys they've shared together! They've lived in another country, took us kids on vacations, and had date nights throughout the years.

Marriages that last

But you know what the real difference was? God. Their marriage is centered on God and His will in their lives. They raised me to know who He is, and to make my faith my own. I pray that I will find a love like theirs someday; Christ-honoring, respectful, fun, and faithful.

Meant to Be?

Maybe it wasn't meant to last.

And that is okay.

You’ve probably been through all the reasons it ended. Whether or not you were the one to make the call, the pain is still there.

Did you know that? Even if she ended it, she feels the pain too? She cared about you, or else she would not have dated you.

I didn’t have failed relationships. Failure says that it was all for nothing... but you learned so much. It did not turn out the way you expected, so you probably have some pain or scars because of it. You didn’t deserve to be treated badly, disrespected, or like they didn’t have time for you.

Every cloud has a silver lining. What did you learn? Did you learn that you have some things you need to work on? Would apologizing and forgiving quickly make things better next time? What things are non-negotiable and what can you compromise on for the good of the other? Through past relationships, I certainly learned about how I should treat a future spouse and how I want to be treated.

Life moves on, don’t miss it! Go out with your friends. Meet new people. Pursue hobbies. Don’t give up on finding your soul mate, but don’t let it keep you from living in the present… life is an adventure!

This is the first time I've posted an original poem of mine. I know it's nothing fancy, but I hope it resonates with you.

Meant to Be

By Ariel Smith

Were we really meant to be?

I thought so, but now I see.

We laughed and teased,

And for a while, we were pleased.

I thought I knew you,

And that you’d come through.

But our differences became a wall,

One that wouldn’t fall.

I tried so hard to be the one you needed,

But ended up feeling defeated.

I prayed and pleaded with God above,

That somehow this would turn into love.

But once again, the tide has shifted.

Through God’s love, my heart has lifted.

It was not meant to be,

For I was not fully free to be me.

The days ahead may seem long,

But in God’s arms, I truly belong.

Though I am single tonight,                        

God’s plan will come to light….

The day I find out it is true,

That God loved me so much that He led me to you.

Have a blessed weekend!

Seek Him First

Singleness

Singleness is never easy, especially when our desire is to find the one we are going to marry and journey through life with. There can be days that we think once we find our other half, we will finally be happy, and our lives will begin...

Why are you waiting for your life to begin? Are you afraid to be alone? I had to learn how to be content and joyful in the moments I felt very alone at college. Those are the times that I was focused on my relationship with God and studied the Bible. He reminded me that I belong to Him. He will do that for you too, if you take time to sit still and listen.

Let's Be Real

In all honesty, if we are not content in our singleness, we will not be content in marriage either. We bring the issues we have as single people into marriage. Why not use your time of singleness to open up to God, and learn from Him and His word? Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. He is always faithful to come and meet us where we are.

Will the longing go away? I don't think it will completely. But the worry will fade. We do not decide what happens tomorrow, that is in the hands of our Creator.

Here is something that continues to help me as I prayerfully wait for God's best: God loves spending time with you. He's not ready to let your heart be won/given to another. He so hopes that you will desire a relationship with Him, and soak up the love He gives so generously.

Time for Adventures!

This is the time to go on adventures, grow in independence, and figure out your passions and talents! God is developing your character and valuable spouse qualities in this season of waiting. He is also preparing your spouse to meet you, and be a beautiful match! Don't give up hope! God knows the desires of our hearts, and will fulfill them (or change them) in His timing.


“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” - Matthew 6:33-34

All You Need is 20 Seconds of Insane Courage

 The Good Guy Should Get the Girl

You may be thinking that women really don’t like the good guys… because you always see them falling for jerks. Not only that, but some women stay with these guys, even though it’s obvious to everyone else that they are being treated poorly, and they deserve better.

So, what’s the deal? Why does it seem like nice guys always finish last?

There is one thing that women are ALWAYS attracted to.

That, my friends, is confidence.

The mean guys often have it, though sometimes it is displaced by cockiness. These guys have the guts to go talk to the girl…

Fake It Till You Make It

We WANT you, the good guy, to come talk to us. We so hope that you will have the confidence to do so. Confidence can even be a “fake it till you make it” practice. Appearing confident will eventually make you more confident. And trust me, we don’t know you are faking it. Any woman that is worth your time will respect your bravery and be happy you came to talk to her. Do you get the date or number every time? Most likely not, but don’t let that stop you from meeting new people or going out of your comfort zone.

One thing is certain: Confident men are super attractive! It boosts your attraction level so far beyond the guys who are too afraid to step up, and the cocky guys who try to attract girls with their backhanded compliments and insincerity. 

It truly only takes 20 seconds... why not give it a try?

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You are His Masterpiece

We All Have Bad Days

Some days, we beat ourselves up. We know we blew it, made mistakes, and feel unworthy...

But you know what? That is okay. We were not born perfect. Do you realize that God doesn't expect perfection from you either? He sent His son to be the perfect sacrifice, so that we wouldn't get dragged down by peer pressure, the desire for perfection, and selfishness.

Turn to God when you mess up. He will create beauty and wholeness through the pain and disappointments. 

You were created by God, in a fearful and wonderful way. He knew exactly what He was doing... Because He doesn't make mistakes. You, my friends, are a masterpiece created by the ultimate artist... and you are adored by your Creator.

Picture compliments of Pinterest